Finding Joy Through Humility

Gavin Ortlund wants to change your impression. Humility: The Joy of Self-Forgetfulness is a humble little book on a big topic. Quiz: when you saw the word “humble” in the last sentence, did you think that was a positive or negative adjective?

Ortlund begins with what should be obvious: We know that humility is a virtue because Jesus was humble. He is explicitly described that way by Paul:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:5-8, ESV)

If Jesus humbled himself, then we can immediately dispense with the three common ways of thinking about humility. Humility is not self-hatred, weakness, or hiding your talents.

Ortlund’s preferred definition of “humility” is “self-forgetfulness leading to joy.” That’s not a crisp definition, but it does get to the two parts of humility Ortlund most wants to emphasize. First is the self-forgetfulness. In example after example, Ortlund argues that the difference between those with humility and those without is the degree to which they concentrate on themselves. If I am talking with you and thinking more about what I am saying and what I am about to say and what I want to get out of this conversation, then I am not humble. The humble person listens and is gratefully learning from whatever others are saying. “Humility actually values the input of the speaker.”

It is the second part of the definition, though, that is the more revealing. Humility brings joy. In one of the very many quotations from C.S. Lewis, this joy is described:

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

With that definition, Uriah Heep, that greasy, smarmy person, is not humble at all.

Why are humble people so full of joy? Have you ever noticed how many truly amazing things there are in the world and realized how fortunate you are to live amongst all those amazing things? You look at the majesty of a sunset and you realize that it is wonderful to be a small part of such an incredible world; on the other hand, the sunset does not look at you in awe. Imagine if when you encountered other people, you had that same sense of awe; you are in the presence of yet another image of God and you think about that rather than how that other person should be admiring you. That is humility.

It is hard to escape the feeling of humility when you think about the grace God has shown you, and yet we do manage to escape that feeling all the time. Quoting Edwards:” A sense of the loveliness of God is peculiarly that discovery of God which makes humility. A sense or discovery of God’s greatness without his loveliness will not do it. But it is a discovery of his loveliness that is the very discovery that affects the thing and makes the soul humble.

Ortlund is enamored with that idea of loveliness. Once you realize that God is lovely, far more lovely than you are, how could you not be humble?

Yet, when you look at the church, do you see humility? In the second half of Ortlund’s book, he moves from the theory to the practice of humility. What is striking about the second half is that there is nothing in it that is surprising in the least, but it is painfully obvious that people in the church need to hear this message again and again. Humility is in rare supply among people who profess to be captured by the loveliness of God.

Ortlund splits the discussion in to three parts: humility in leadership, between peers, and toward leadership, but his discussions in each chapter constantly cross the lines between those three things. The chapters are more accurately delineated by the types of practices being advocated to develop humility.

The first chapter is on leadership. There are far too many pastors out there who are filled with pride. Granted, many of them are convinced that they are, like Uriah Heep, “the umblest person going,” but they give away the game by showing their pride at how humble they are. What does Ortlund advocate? He doesn’t say it, but stripped to its essence, he recommends that everyone in a church should immediately buy a copy of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Consider these two passages:

1. “Too often, we conceive of leadership as primarily corrective, with occasional encouragement. It should be the exact opposite. Encouragement should be the norm. Corrections should be sparing.”
2. “Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or she is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doing it all wrong, and you will have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve. But use the opposite technique—be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it—and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to excel.”

Or this pair:

1. “Be willing to apologize….If you are a leader, freely acknowledge your mistakes to those under your care.”
2. “There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors.…[W]hen we are wrong—and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves—let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.”

The first one of each pair is Ortlund; the second is Carnegie. Ortlund could have included Carnegie’s whole book as an appendix. If you want to be a leader in the church, you need to adopt the social skills that Dale Carnegie advocates. Smile. Be encouraging. Never criticize or complain. Make others feel valuable.

When Ortlund turns to thinking about humility among peers in the church, he writes an essay on the destructive vice of envy. There is again nothing theologically new in this chapter and I have no doubt Ortlund would agree with that assessment, and yet sadly it is a chapter that could profitably be handed out in every church in the land. Paul talks about how everyone in the church is a distinct part of the body of Christ, and yet too many of those body parts are, just like Paul described, constantly complaining that the other parts are getting too much attention and silently rejoicing when they fail.

The chapter on humility toward leadership is the most heart-breaking in the book. The main point is that churches need leadership and in a functioning church people respect that leadership. But the emotional bulk of the chapter is Ortlund’s repeated assurances that he is not saying that one needs to submit to abusive church leaders. In a book about the positive virtue of humility, why this dramatic emphasis on the negative effects of abusive church leaders? It’s rather obvious, isn’t it? Churches across the land are filled with refugees from abusive church situations. If you want a simple explanation for why humility is in short supply in church congregations, it is that far too many church leaders have abused their positions of authority. Trust has fallen. If you don’t trust the leaders of the church, how can you set aside your defense mechanisms and be humble?

What to make of a book like this? There is nothing strikingly novel about the argument; it hews closely to orthodox Christian theology. In a church full of people who are models of Christian behavior, there is nothing here that would not be lived out on a daily basis. But, that church of perfect saints does not exist. Your church, filled with real people, could almost certainly benefit from a reflection on this theme.

(The ever-amusing mandatory legal disclaimer: Crossway sent me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Why does the law doubt my honesty? Does anyone in Washington really think I would sell my integrity for a $12 book on humility?)

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