Feeling Enthusiastic?

If someone were to tell you that you are a very enthusiastic person, how insulted would you be? Not at all? That is curious.

“For Inspiration is a real feeling of the Divine Presence, and Enthusiasm a False one.”

That is from “A Letter concerning ENTHUSIASM” by Anthony, Third Earl of Shaftesbury. It was the first essay in his Characteristicks of Men, Manners, Opinions, Times, a book, it is fair to say, of which very few people even know its existence, let alone have read it. Yet, the book, first published in 1711, was according to the editor of the Liberty Fund volume (Douglas Den Uyl), “the most reprinted book in English in that century.”

The essay is a bit jarring. Enthusiasm, that perfectly innocuous sentiment conjuring up the image of a sprightly lad or lass telling you about the Obsession of the Moment, does not come off very well in Shaftesbury’s account. Indeed, we really ought to be on guard against this Enthusiasm thing.

You are now naturally thinking Shaftesbury is one of those dour types who thinks we all ought to spend our days in morose reflection. You are wrong to think that. “I am sure the only way to save Mens Sense, or preserve Wit at all in the World, is to give Liberty to Wit.” Or consider this: “Gravity is of the very Essence of Imposture.” The plot thickens.

Fortunately the lexicographical equivalent of Holmes is at hand to solve the mystery of how Shaftesbury is simultaneously the Critic of Enthusiasm and the Enthusiastic Critic. The Oxford English Dictionary to the rescue. Enthusiasm does not mean what you think it means. There is an older meaning:

Enthusiasm, n. depreciative. False or pretended divine inspiration, or an instance of this; a belief in or emphasis on private divine revelation as opposed to revelation through scripture. From the 18th cent. also in wider sense: excessive religious emotion or fervour; mystical, fanatical, or radical religious delusion. Now historical.

Amazing, no? And, to think that Samuel Johnson in whose own dictionary defined a Lexicographer as “A writer of dictionaries; a harmless drudge, that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the signification of words.” Let us pause and praise lexicographers for a moment. (Insert Pause.)

The most intriguing thing about that definition labeled “now historical” is that it might be time to bring it back.

To whom does the term apply? Shaftesbury’s essay is clearly addressing the Religious Enthusiasts of his day:

Nothing can persuade us of Sullenness or Sourness in such a Being [God], beside the actual fore-feeling of somewhat of this kind within our-selves: and if we are afraid of bringing good Humour into Religion, or thinking with Freedom and Pleasantness on such a Subject as God; ’tis because we conceive the Subject so like our-selves, and can hardly have a Notion of Majesty and Greatness, without Stateliness and Moroseness accompanying it.

In Shaftesbury’s age. enthusiasts were those who looked within themselves to understand God, and since they found no Good Humor within themselves, they saw none in God.

The use of the word “enthusiasm” in this sense is obviously obsolete. Does that mean the phenomenon has disappeared? Hardly. Indeed, we live in a time of great enthusiasm. Takes the sense in which the term was used in Shaftesbury’s time: “excessive religious emotion or fervour; mystical, fanatical, or radical religious delusion.” Replace “religious” with “political” in that definition. Now open up your favorite (or least favorite) news source and play the game: How many Enthusiasts can you spot?

Of course the enthusiasts of the day are instantly very annoyed about this comparison and will quickly explain that the Politics of the Day are a Serious matter, that we should not think with Freedom or Pleasantness on such a subject as Contemporary Politics, that Stateliness and Moroseness are indeed the only way to approach a subject with the Majesty and Greatness of Politics.

We should not be surprised at this. As Shaftesbury notes;

There is a Melancholy which accompanys all Enthusiasm. Be it Love or Religion (for there are Enthusiasms in both) nothing can put a stop to the growing mischief of either, till the Melancholy be remov’d, and the Mind at liberty to hear what can be said against the Ridiculousness of an Extreme in either way.

We live in an Age of Enthusiasm. That is not a compliment to our times. The cure is wit and raillery. People need to laugh more. And not that harsh pseudo-laughter which is just a cover for serious complaints. Laugh at oneself. Laugh at the extremes in one’s own beliefs. When you hear tell of things which insult you or your beliefs, how should you respond?

Shou’d we not, in good truth, be ridiculous to take offence at this? And shou’d we not pass for extravagantly morose and ill-humour’d, if instead of treating the matter in Raillery, we shou’d think in of revenging our-selves on the offending Partys, who, out of their rustick Ignorance, ill Judgment, or Incredulity, had detracted from our Renown?

It’s time to resurrect this historical sense of the word “enthusiasm.” It is sadly, a remarkably apt description of our time.

Drinking Deeply from The Breakfast of Champions

On the cover of a book sitting on my desk right now there is a picture of St Augustine painted by Justus van Gent in the 15th century. On a book cover on the other side of my desk there is a pentagon, with a smaller pentagon in it, which has an image that I think is two people reading books, but it is hard to tell. A third book has a copy of a Claude Lorrain (17th century) painting, Imaginary View of Delphi with a Procession. I haven’t read this third book yet. And so on.

Nothing in that first paragraph matters in the least. It’s just a story about my desk right now.

Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions has lots of stories like that. They also don’t matter. That’s the point.

Let’s start over. Tracing the development of Vonnegut’s thought through his novels is fascinating. Consider the slice included in the Library of America’s Kurt Vonnegut, Novels and Stories 1963-1973. It begins with Cat’s Cradle, which argues that life is pointless and meaningless and just one thing after another. Then comes God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, which argues that since life is pointless and meaningless, we might as well love our neighbors. Then Slaughterhouse-Five, a devastating description of the fire-bombing of Dresden in which Vonnegut enters the pit of despair. After such knowledge, what forgiveness?

What comes next is Breakfast of Champions, which is a broken Vonnegut just hurling what remains of his psyche onto the page. Since it is Vonnegut, there are some amusing bits. But, the nature of the book is found it its title: The Breakfast of Champions is not Wheaties; it’s a martini.

You think that is a harsh assessment? It’s more generous than Vonnegut’s later self-assessment. He graded his own novels. Cat’s Cradle and Slaughterhouse-Five were A+. God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater was an A. Breakfast of Champions? C.

You want a plot summary? Good luck. Kilgore Trout, a science fiction author who shows up in Vonnegut’s earlier novels, gets invited to a convention in Midland. Dwayne Hoover owns a car dealership and a bunch of other retail establishments in Midland. In chapter 1, we are told they will meet. Eventually they do. The only reason to pick that out of all the stories in this book as the plot is that it is the one story that is actually mentioned a few times. Turn to a random page, and you’ll almost certainly get a totally unrelated story.

The stories seem to overlap, but that is only because they are all taking place in the same novel and Kilgore and Dwayne are in multiple stories. We get, for example, a lot of summaries of Kilgore Trout’s stories, which is a funny in a way. Vonnegut has a bunch of ideas for stories, but rather than write up the stories, he pretends that Kilgore Trout wrote the stories, and then Vonnegut provides a sketch of the Kilgore Trout story which Vonnegut could have just written. The whole novel is like that; people drop in for a page or two and you get their back story and then they vanish and are never heard from again.

If you are looking for a nice linear novel, just move along. The mess of a plot is enhanced by the frequent insertion of a bunch of crudely drawn pictures. If you are imagining the pictures are an important key to the story, you haven’t been paying attention. Opening the book at random, we get a picture of a Holiday Inn sign and on the next page a picture of a lamb and a few pages later two pictures: one of a blazer a monkey wore in a Trout story and the other a sign in front of a diner that says “Eat.” Two pages later, two pictures of trucks, one of which says “Pyramid” on the side and the other says “Ajax” on the side and then…do you want me to go on listing pictures?

What is this mess of stories all pretending to be a single novel? Vonnegut gives us a hint late in the novel in an authorial interlude:

As I approached my fiftieth birthday, I had become more and more enraged and mystified by the idiot decisions made by my countrymen. And then I had come suddenly to pity them, for I understood how innocent and natural it was for them to behave so abominably, and with such abominable results: They were doing their best to live like people invented in story books. This was the reason Americans shot each other so often: it was a convenient literary device for ending short stories and books.

Vonnegut is talking about You, Dear Reader, and Me. We really do think of our lives like we are a part of a story. Stories have plots that cohere and themes that mean something. They also have to end somehow and you really want to think your life has a progression toward that end, don’t you?

But, Vonnegut isn’t done with you yet. He wants to tear apart your ability to imagine you are a character living in a story. He doesn’t even want you to have the dignity of thinking that highly of yourself.

When Kilgore Trout meets Dwayne Hoskins in a hotel cocktail lounge, there is suddenly a third important character in the bar. Vonnegut himself, sitting in a corner. Now Vonnegut doesn’t call himself Vonnegut. He gave himself a penname in the Preface, but when he shows up in the cocktail lounge, he repeatedly lets us know that the characters are doing exactly what the author of the novel decides they should do. This isn’t just breaking the fourth wall, having the author address the audience. It is shattering the fourth wall into a bajillion fragments. To what end?

In the cocktail lounge, when the promised meeting occurs and Kilgore Trout finally does meet Dwayne Hooper (and remember, we have been waiting for this scene since the first chapter of the novel), the entire interaction between them is this: Dwayne, who had been slowly going insane, walks up to Kilgore and asks for the message, then grabs a novel that Kilgore wrote and happens to be holding, asking “Is this it?” A bewildered Kilgore says “Yes.” Dwayne wanders off and reads Kilgore’s novel, which takes remarkably little time because conveniently enough the author of the book had sent Dwayne through a speed reading course.

The novel Dwayne read was a message to the reader that the reader was the only person in the world with free will. Everyone else is a robot. Dwayne goes on a rampage attacking the people he now knows are robots. Ambulances come. And so on.

That undoubtedly does not make you want to read this story. But, here is where Vonnegut is being really meta. Breakfast of Champions is itself a novel in which there is only one character with free will—the author. Everyone else is a robot, doing exactly what the author wants the characters to do. To rub it in, the novel ends with the author talking with Kilgore Trout, revealing himself as Kilgore’s Creator and telling Kilgore that he will henceforth be free. But of course there is no possible way Kilgore Trout can be free. He has no ability to have free will, no matter what the Creator says.

And you, Dear Reader? Remember that story in which you think you were living? Who is the author? You? A Different Creator? Are you the only person with free will in a world of robots? Or are you one of the robots? Or is your story really not a story at all, but just a bunch of people with free will crashing into one another and whatever happens, happens? Vonnegut won’t let you have any of those answers. He won’t let you have an answer at all.

Breakfast of Champions is really just some sort of uber-nihilism. Don’t ask me what “uber-nihilism” means—I just made up the phrase and I have no idea what it means either, but it is the perfect description of this novel. To try to make sense of the book is exactly the sort of thing the book is mocking you for trying to do.

Related Posts

Vonnegut, Kurt Slapstick “Vonnegut Hits Rock Bottom”
Kundera, Milan The Unbearable Lightness of Being “Bearing Life”

Where Have All the Novels Gone?

“Over lunch one day, the wonderful magazine-essayist Andrew Ferguson gave me what he called the Cocktail Party Test for new books: Would you be embarrassed to show up at a get-together of writers and public-intellectual types without having read it? And the last novel he could remember for which that seemed true was Tom Wolfe’s Bonfire of the Vanities in 1987.”

Joseph Bottum relates that anecdote in The Decline of the Novel. (Bottum goes on to note the same thing is true of poetry, opera, sculpture, painting, and plays.) An interesting test, that. If I were to use it on my students, I would be met with blank stares. But then the light would click and they would all have an answer. Harry Potter. It would indeed be a bit mortifying to admit you never read Harry Potter.

The Harry Potter exception would not phase Bottum in the least. You see, as he explains late in the book, stories for children don’t really count as examples of that once high art form, the Novel. But, we are getting ahead of ourselves here, so let’s back up. What is The Novel?

Now you, Dear Reader, might be tempted to say something akin to “The novel is a fictional story written in prose which is longer than 100 pages.” In that case, it is hard to see much decline in the novel. There are lots and lots and lots of novels being published. If you are willing to include self-published novels, there are undoubtedly more novels being published than ever before.

Bottum doesn’t like your definition of The Novel, though. He wants something more specific, much more specific.

The art form of the novel gave us a fascination with the interior self, its emotions and its reasonings, greater and more insistent than anything the world had ever known before….Novels became central to the culture in part because their narratives were the only available art form spacious enough for all the details authors needed if they were to draw what was increasingly seen as realistic pictures of their characters. That kind of literary space just doesn’t exist in lyrical poetry…

The novel, as Bottum defines is, is thus a product of Protestantism. That seems like a bit of a leap, right? “The novel came into being to present the Protestant story of the individual soul as it strove to understand its salvation and achieve its sanctification, illustrated by the parallel journey of the new-style characters, with their well-furnished interiors, as they wandered through their adventures in the exterior world.”

There you have what the novel is: a clever Protestant means to cement the central importance of the individual over the community. Think I am exaggerating? How about this: “In the end, we arrive at a suggestion that to write a Catholic novel is to attempt something a little tricky, a little verging on the self-contradictory. And when a Catholic or a Catholic-aiming novel fails, it typically fails because it is at war with its own form.” Meanwhile: “To write a Protestant novel is, instead, to do something a little unnecessary, a little verging on the redundant.”

That is, to put it mildly, a quirky definition of the novel. The thesis of Bottum’s book, however, hinges on that definition. The novel declined because of the collapse of Protestantism in the 20th century. The Protestant view on life in which there is no intermediary between humanity and God is, in Bottum’s word, thin. Over time, that thinness of life gets stretched more and more. Novelists tried to thicken that life, but they failed. Eventually it got so thin it snapped, and the novel declined, if not outright died.

I am pretty sure that is a fair description of Bottum’s thesis, but truth be told it is sometimes a little hard to tell because of another odd quirk in the book. In a bit of admirable forthrightness, Bottum notes in the afterword, “I am such a slow writer that, even to complete this small work, I had to go back to previous essays and reviews, borrowing sentences, paragraphs, and even whole sections from work I’d previously published…” That note explains a third of the book; the three chapters devoted to Scott, Dickens and Mann, none of which cleanly fit into a whole.

Don’t get me wrong. There is much in these first 110 pages (of the 150 page book) which is thought-provoking. There are many asides and tidbits that make you look up and think for a bit. At his best, Bottum has long been someone whose essays are thought-provoking, and scattered through the early parts of the book are all sorts of mini-essays. But, strung together like this, the book does indeed read like a whole bunch of things from other essays tossed together in a giant salad. A quirky thesis is not enhanced by lengthy plot summaries of novels by Scott and Mann or a discussion of every single person with multiple names in David Copperfield.

Then, on page 110, Bottum gets to a discussion of Tom Wolfe, and the whole book snaps into focus. “Tom Wolfe and the Failure of Nerve” expresses admiration for Wolfe’s obvious rhetorical gifts, but then takes Wolfe to task for his failure as a novelist. He “never did know what a novel is.” Wolfe’s novels lack “a kind of presence that haunts the text and draws it together at a level deeper than plot.” They lack “completion.”

The problem: “The ending of a Tom Wolfe novel is usually a disaster, or at least a minor fall, because the resources necessary to conclude a story of justification and sanctification simply do not exist for him….It’s not something that can really tell us the way we live now or, more important, the way we ought to live tomorrow.” Take an example: A Man in Full abruptly ends when the protagonist Charlie Croker becomes an apostle of Stoicism. Bottum hates that ending:

It’s hard to see what genuine use could be made of that philosophy Wolfe throws away in a silly parody of Christian revivalism and a preaching of “the cult of Zeus” in the last ten pages of the novel. But even taken at its most promising, Stoicism simply isn’t the answer to the problems the author has set himself in A Man in Full.

To which the automatic reply is, “Why not?” The ending of a Tom Wolfe novel is certainly not akin to the ending of a Daniel Defoe or a Walter Scott novel. The ending to a Tom Wolfe novel is certainly not an example of how you would end a Protestant novel. But, who said that novels needed to have Protestant endings? Well, that was Joseph Bottum who said that. It is certainly true that Tom Wolfe fails to write novels that fit Bottum’s definition of a good novel.

But, what if we define “novel” a bit more broadly as a story that captures the spirit of the times in which it is written? Then Bottum’s 18th century exemplars would indeed be Protestant. But, as Protestantism collapses, as Bottum argues it does, what would happen to the novel? Does the novel decline or does it continue to reflect the times, becoming less Protestant, but no less novelistic? Tom Wolfe’s novels had loose baggy pseudo-endings because, as Bottum would be the first to argue, we live in a loose baggy time with no grand endings in sight. This is after all, the age of Eliot: “Think at last/ We have not reached conclusion, when I/ Stiffen in a rented house.” Charlie Coker’s ersatz stoicism is the perfect ending to a novel written in that rented house.

In other words, Bottom becomes a victim of his own definition of the word “novel” and fails to realize that the entire decline of which he speaks is simply the failure of modern novelist to live up to his unusual definition. There is no lack of great novels being written today. Bottum himself is happy to mention a few. Off the top of my head, Helprin, Ishiguro, McCarthy, Morrison, and Robinson are all recent novelists whose work is surely worthy of notice. Are they writing Great Books? Are they as Great as Scott and Dickens? Maybe. Therein lies another problem with Bottum’s argument. It takes at least 50 years to have any idea if a novel is Great enough to be read by future generations. Obviously looking back a century or more we can identify novels which have stood the test of time. Which novels written in the last 25 years will people still be reading in 2120? There is no way to know. That ignorance does not mean Great Novels are not being written.

Bottum’s problem seeing the landscape of the modern novel is perfectly illustrated in his chapter on what has happened since Wolfe. As Bottum, half-jokingly, notes, the novel was killed by Neil Gaiman, who channeled his prodigious ability into (insert shudder) a comic book. Instead of writing David Copperfield, Gaiman wrote The Sandman. Alan Moore and the early Frank Miller similarly channeled their abilities there. Genre fiction, including children’s literature, has all sorts of talents. But none of these things count as proper novels in the way Bottum has defined the term, and thus they cannot serve as counterexamples to the decline of the novel.

The problem with Bottum’s book is that it was written inside out. There are two things that Bottum thinks are in decline: the novel and society. If Bottum’s book had a slightly different frame, it would have been a much cleaner argument. Society is in decline and a marvelous way to see that decline is to look at novels. Novels are, after all, a wonderful lens with which to think about the society in which they were written. There is a huge difference between the older world in which Scott was writing Waverley and Austen was writing Pride and Prejudice and the newer world in which Gaiman is writing The Sandman and McCarthy is writing Blood Meridian. You could learn a lot about the decline of society with a comparison like that.

But Bottum wants his thesis to be stronger. He doesn’t want to argue that the novel illustrates the decline of society. He wants to argue that the novel itself is one of the things that declined when society declined. He wants to argue that the novels of today are worse and scarcer and less important than the novels of yesteryear. That thesis is harder to sustain, and ultimately detracts from the point I think Bottum really wants to make. He wants to convince you, the Reader, that something is rotten in the state. But, instead of pointing to the dead things rotting all over in the castle, he takes you to the library and starts insisting that Tom Wolfe just isn’t as good as Samuel Richardson.

Revisiting Chesterton and The Mystery of Capital

My latest essay at Public Discourse:

There is a curious strain of recent conservative thought that laments the workings of the American economic system. The iconic example of the problem is the closing of a factory: it removes the lifeblood of a community and inevitably causes the breakdown of the community and its families.

The villain is the factory owner, generally portrayed as a rapacious soul: he lives in comfort and heartlessly tosses hardworking people onto the street. Why? Merely in order to increase profits by moving his capital elsewhere, even, all too often, to another country. For a small, even miniscule, increase in the already large wealth of the greedy capitalist, an entire community is destroyed. Remember: these are conservatives making this argument.

To see a particularly poignant hypothetical example of this, consider Sam Long’s article, “What Are America’s Pensioners Getting from Private Equity?” A teacher making $60,000 a year has part of her retirement savings in a private equity fund. The managers of the fund then engage in all sorts of shenanigans with ominous sounding names, and the next thing you know, the factory in the teacher’s hometown shuts down. Then the teacher is suddenly living in a post-apocalyptic nightmare of falling home prices, rampant crime, and drug abuse. The moral is clear: because the managers of the teacher’s retirement portfolio wanted to get a measly few extra percentage points of return on her retirement account, the teacher’s life became miserable. Don’t let this be you.

Set aside disentangling the financial chicanery Long describes, none of which is necessary to raise the question he is fundamentally asking: is it in the interest of the common good for the owner of a factory to move production elsewhere in order to increase the return on capital? To answer that, let us first think about a question that never seems to have occurred to Long: Why is the teacher making $60,000 a year?

This is not a question about whether teachers are paid too much or too little. The question is more basic: Why is anyone making $60,000 a year? In 1921, the average teacher’s salary was $1,500. In current dollar terms, that is a salary of a little over $20,000. So, why isn’t the most stunning thing in Long’s hypothetical example that teachers’ salaries are three times higher in real terms now than they were one hundred years ago? The increase in pay would be even more dramatic if you go back farther in time.

Is the size of the teacher’s salary related to the story of the closing of the factory? Yes.

Read the rest at Public Discourse

Learning Goals and Oakeshott

In an old brick building, an aging Doctor of Philosophy shares knowledge acquired over a lifetime with a dozen young scholars just setting out on their own intellectual journeys. That is the image of higher education. It is also one of the many fatalities in the Age of Covid. Not everyone is mourning its passing, however. One of the byproducts of the move to on-line education is the triumph of the College Bureaucrats in their guerrilla war for control of the classroom. There is a serious danger that higher education will be permanently changed even after the students return to campus.

The battleground for the soul of the classroom is encapsulated in the idea of Learning Goals. They are all the rage in education these days; you can’t hear a college bureaucrat speak for more than 10 minutes about academics without an appeal to them. Now if you are not a college professor, you may not think that a discussion of learning goals is all that bad. After all, isn’t it obvious that there should be a goal for learning?

Ah, but saying there is a goal is not enough. Listening to the apostles of learning goals, one would think that the job of a professor is to establish specific learning goals for each class, show how the individual class learning goals relate to the department’s learning goals, and then show how the department’s learning goals relate to the college’s learning goals. Then, the class learning goals should be clearly specified on a syllabus, preferably with cross-references to the department and college learning goals. Every topic and assignment in the class should be explicitly linked to one of the course learning goals. Assessments should be designed to see if the students are meeting each specific learning goal. If students are not meeting a learning goal, the problem is clearly that the professor has poorly specified the learning goal, not properly instructed the students in the methods to be used to achieve the learning goal, or has not adopted the proper educational tools to assess whether students have met the learning goal.

I have been a bit befuddled by this request to establish measurable learning goals. The frequency with which these requests are coming is increasing exponentially. Thus far, I keep insisting that the learning goal for all my classes is “To teach students how to read Shakespeare for pleasure.” (By the way, I am an economist.) I am serious with that answer, but the bureaucrats never think I am treating the matter with enough gravity. The underlying puzzle for me has been trying to figure out how we got to the place where “learning goals” became the measure of education. Before the advent of the Bureaucratic College, how did learning ever occur? How did Socrates or Augustine or Aquinas or Hume or Smith ever teach anyone anything without first setting out learning goals?

My puzzle was solved while reading Michael Oakeshott’s “Rationalism in Politics,” a 1947 essay about European politics. Oakeshott describes the rise of Rationalism, the belief that the only authority and guide to solving all problems is Reason. With proper application of Reason, everyone will agree on the proper course of action. Experience and history are poor guides. “With an almost poetic fancy, [the Rationalist] strives to live each day as if it were his first, and believes that to form a habit is to fail.” There are many obvious effects of this mindset on politics.

Rationalism also has an effect on education. Knowledge, Oakeshott explains, comes in two varieties, technical and practical. Technical knowledge comes from learning the rules, the technique. A perfect example is learning to cook; master the ingredients and techniques and you too can bake a cake. There are similarly techniques to be mastered to learn how to work in a laboratory, apply the proper theory to interpreting a text, or manipulate a set of data to find statistical regularities.

In contrast, Oakeshott’s practical knowledge can only be learned in use. There are no rules to be followed, techniques to be memorized. “[P]ractical knowledge can neither be taught nor learned, but only imparted and acquired. It exists only in practice, and the only way to acquire it is by apprenticeship to a master—not because the master can teach it (he cannot), but because it can be acquired only by continuous contact with one who is perpetually practicing it.”

Now both sorts of knowledge exist. Indeed, in the traditional liberal arts college, both were vital. One mastered the technique of how to use a microscope or the library or a statistical software package. But the ends to which one could and should put those techniques were what the professors provided; students absorbed habits of thought by frequent contact with those who had devoted their life to acquiring knowledge and wisdom. That conception of the liberal arts is exactly what is under threat in the modern age. Akin to Oakeshott’s concerns about what was occurring in European politics in the late 1940s, the bureaucracy of the colleges has been staffed by Rationalists. The consequences for education are deep.

Rationalism is the assertion that what I have called practical knowledge is not knowledge at all, the assertion that, properly speaking, there is no knowledge which is not technical knowledge. The Rationalist holds that the only element of knowledge involved in any human activity is technical knowledge, and that what I have called practical knowledge is really only a sort of nescience which would be negligible if it were not positively mischievous. The sovereignty of ‘reason’, for the Rationalist, means the sovereignty of technique.

That is when the light bulb went on. Learning goals are, by their very nature, statements about technical knowledge, statements about technique. To set up learning goals for a class is akin to writing a cookbook. Students memorize the list of ingredients and the steps for combining those ingredients. If they follow the steps correctly, they get an A. Then they can move to the next cookbook. A department is akin to a cuisine; take 8 courses in Mexican food and you have a major. A college is a collection of cuisines. But, upon graduating, can any of these masters of cookbooks actually make a decent meal? Do they actually understand the principles of cooking? Do they even enjoy cooking?

Oakeshott’s distinction makes perfect sense of the modern college. It has abandoned practical knowledge. It really has no love of artistry and beauty. It merely takes 18 year olds and processes them until they become 22 year olds and then hands them a certificate of completion. The same thing is happening in classrooms. An increasing number of teachers are turning their classrooms into pure exercises of learning technique. Set measurable goals for the students and give them endless opportunities to redo the work until they meet those goals. Then you can pat yourself on the back and say “Mission Accomplished.”

Therein lies the difference between those of us who still believe in the virtues of the traditional liberal arts college and the modern educational technocrats who staff the bureaucracies. I don’t care if students remember whether a cross-price elasticity of demand equal to negative 3 means the goods are substitutes or complements. Nobody ever remembers whether increasing money demand shifts the IS or the LM curve and in which direction (and what is on the axes, again?). None of those things matter in the least decades later in life. What I want students who have joined with me in a class to remember is that learning things is fun, that there is a joy in discovery, that learning how to take complicated things and make little models of these complicated things is a marvelous way to gain insight. If I do my job well, then 30 years after graduation my former students will indeed pick up a copy of Hamlet and read it purely for pleasure. To attain that end, I have to model the excitement of learning. A classroom devoted solely to mastering technique is inimical to the wonder and joy of learning I hope to impart.

To return to the present crisis, which type of education is more amenable to an on-line education? It is not a contest. Technique can be taught on-line. Indeed, if the only thing you want to learn is a list of things on which you will be tested, there really isn’t any advantage at all to a live instructor. There is a YouTube video already out there showing you how to take apart your vacuum cleaner or take the derivative of a function. A quick Google search will allow you to discover the backgrounds of all the characters in the Divine Comedy or whether mixing two specific chemicals will cause an explosion.

As professors everywhere are scrambling to adjust their classes for on-line education, technique triumphs. Oakeshotts’ practical education cannot easily be shared on-line. That fifteen minute impromptu tangent in class, the half hour conversation in the office, the excitement arising from a random conversation about a topic unrelated to the course, none of those things occur in an on-line class. On-line education is the College Bureaucrat’s Dream; professors everywhere are being forced by circumstances to retrofit their courses around technique.

What happens when the students return? How sticky are the changes being made in class after class? If the College Bureaucrats have their way, they will be very sticky indeed. Having reformatted classes to become disciplinary cookbooks, what percent of the faculty will abandon those things and return to the messier but much more important task of modeling the practice of learning? Learning goals are less a passing fad and more part of the very nature of the rationalist bureaucracy which sees value only in technique. I fear this will not go away.

Physics in a Flash

“Faster than the streak of the lightning in the sky…Swifter than the speed of the light itself…Fleeter than the rapidity of thought…is The Flash.”

That’s pretty fast.

And it presents certain…problems.

The Flash was born in 1940 with that opening declaration. Jay Garrick had a nifty metal helmet with wings on the side and he could run really really really fast. Not fast enough to propel sales of his comic book, however. He vanished in less than a decade.

Fear not, speed fans! The adventures of Jay Garrick inspired Barry Allen to become The Flash after he coincidentally spilled just the right set of chemicals on himself when a lightning bolt crashed through the window, allowing him to run really really fast. Yeah that seems a bit improbable. But, it turns out it isn’t improbable at all! Just three years later, young Wally West was visiting his idol The Flash, when a lightning bolt came streaking through the window causing the exact same set of chemicals to spill on Wally! Kid Flash is born!

More years, more Flashes. They come and go. But, they all run really really fast!

Which presents certain…problems.

The Laws of Physics catch up to the Flash. You see, running faster than the speed of light is, well, a might bit difficult. Now, in Superhero Land, you do have to suspend disbelief a bit—people can do all sorts of impossible things in comic books. But Physics plays a really big role in the development of the Flash over the years. This is really apparent in The Flash: A Celebration of 75 Years. At various points you can see the writers realize that the laws of physics might have some weird effects on a guy who can run really fast.

First off, as Einstein (a real person! Not a comic book person!) showed, as something speeds up, it acquire more mass. If it moves at the speed of light, it would have infinite mass, which is a lot of mass. A fist, for example, moving at something close to the speed of light would pack a rather powerful punch. The Flash isn’t strong, but he is fast. Theoretically, if he swings his fist fast enough, he can hit harder than anything else ever could. One punch and he could lay out even Superman!

But, unfortunately, while the mass is rising to infinity, the energy required to move the object is also rising to infinity. So, it takes a lot of energy to move really really fast. To do so requires a source of energy. The Flash would need to eat a lot, a whole lot, to generate that much energy. (This is actually a plot line in one of story lines from the 1980s.)

But, wait, there is even more physics! As The Flash moves faster, time slows down. So, the Flash will age slower than all those slower mortals as long as he keeps running really fast. Move faster than the speed of light, and time goes all wonky (that is the technical term) in the governing equation—so who knows what happens? Maybe…time travel! The flash travels through time a lot. He even has special time travel treadmill because, you know, trying to run faster than light on the earth means you’ll run into something sooner or later.

But wait, if you can move really, really fast, then your molecules must be moving really fast too, right? So what if you just vibrated all your molecules really fast? You could take advantage of all the empty space between your molecules and between the molecules in a solid object (like, say the bars in a jail cell), and you could walk though solid objects. Quantum Tunneling!

Oh, and if you are running at the speed of light (or even faster) you are really going to need to be thinking really fast.

And, by this point in the list of all the nifty things The Flash can do, you realize it might be a bit hard to generate that much energy even if you do eat a lot. So, along comes the Speed Force, which is some mystical energy field that screams in huge Neon Letters “The writers just gave up trying to explain all this.”

And at that moment, all the excitement of the physics of The Flash dies. He cheats. He has the Speed Force and his time traveling treadmill and so has pretty much unlimited power to wander through time really fast and do whatever he wants to do. So what started out as a nifty little idea of a guy who can run really fast ending up meeting the laws of Physics which led to a guy whose powers seem to know no bounds because all he has to do is run really fast on his treadmill and go back in time and fix whatever mistake he just made.

Is there a lesson here? Of course there is: Physics is amazingly interesting. Lots of kids learned about Einstein and the theory of relativity from reading The Flash. You know all those people who complain that kids don’t like learning physics? Maybe they should read comic books first and then work backwards to figure out the physics behind it all. It is not the worst educational idea out there. It might just work.

A quick search on Amazon reveals this book already exists! The Physics of Superheroes by James Kakalios! Even more amazing: Kakalios is a Real Professor™.  

I should probably read this book.

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